Tri-City Transitions

Discussing Problems with Others

Home / Blog / Life / Discussing Problems with Others

Discussing Problems with Others

Communicating effectively where we feel heard can be a challenge. Below are some simple steps in assuring that you are saying what you mean in order to communicate and collaborate with the people around you.

  • Plan and Practice beforehand.
  • Select an appropriate time and place to talk.
  • Be specific and descriptive. Give an example of what behaviours are troubling you.
  • Use “I” statements and avoid accusatory “you” statements.
  • Share your concerns as they come, if they are really important.
  • Avoid name calling and derogatory comments.
  • Make sure your non-verbal behaviours communicate your seriousness.
  • Tell people that you still like and appreciate them’ if you do.
  • Offer specific solutions, or suggestions.
  • Support and validate behaviours you like.
  • Be brief and to the point.
  • Avoid getting caught up and sidetracked.
  • Share any discomfort you feel in giving feedback.
  • Remain firm when challenged, unless it is a lost cause.
  • Focus on common interests.
  • Make it worthwhile for people to change.
  • Don’t expect people to change.
  • Use concerns as opportunities to strengthen relationships.

Gambrill, Eileen and Richey, Cheryl. (1988) Taking Charge of Your Social Life.

Berkeley, CA. Behavioral Options Publishing. p. 195.